The BHGF: Acceptable Winter Attire

Guest Contributor: Burke Hair*

The Inuit laugh at our "mild" winters

December is when winter begins in earnest here in Chicago (where this blog is currently based).  Sure, there is plenty of cold weather in October and November, but December is when the kind of weather that makes you question why you live here kicks in.  This is when the dirty snow piles up, the sidewalks and streets are covered in slush, the wind blows straight through your soul, the cold digs deep into your bones and doesn't ever leave, all the moisture inside your nose starts to freeze, your lips peel like a snake shedding its skin, your eyes are constantly watery - you get the picture.

It's cold, dark, and sad.  The only thing that saves the city from falling into a deep, collective depression is the holidays, which bring just enough goodwill to stave off Winter's brutal psychological effects.  That and the off chance that the Bears have playoff hopes (this is the year!).

Annaleah has a post up about winter jackets that can help keep you warm and fashionable this season.  That's nice but we all know that at a certain point, it gets so cold that clothing choices go from fashionable to survival.  This is the point that it becomes acceptable to put on your super warm, super ugly clothes and just worry about making it to your destination.  The nice part is that everyone understands and gives you a pass for your terrible fashion decisions.

When is it OK to look like this?

But when exactly is this point? How can we define it? Is there anyone brave enough, wise enough, and handsome enough to make this call?

My answers: I'll tell you; Wait and see; I have someone in mind.

After minutes of careful deliberation amongst myself, I believe that this point can be defined as such: 13 degrees.  If the temperature - the actual temperature, not the windchill - is 13 degrees or below, it's fine to wear pretty much whatever you want to stay warm.  With the bone-chilling wind (which finds a way to cut through everything you're wearing like a ninja's katana) gusting and the temperature this low, there is no shame in unflattering attire.  However, if it is warmer than 13 degrees, all of your fashion choices shall be judged harshly and without compassion.  You have been warned.

Note: Major fashion points go to those that can ignore the weather and look good even in these cold, spirit-crushing conditions.

Is it ever OK to look this creepy?

*Disclaimer: Burke Hair's views on fashion are his own and are not shared by this blog or Annaleah Garing.  In fact, this blog is appalled by his fashion sense.  To avoid being the laughing stock of the fashion world, you should probably do the opposite of everything that he says.